What do you do on Saturdays?

I say!

I was in some company the other evening at the 'Government Hostile' when someone present said - "Menzies - what do you do on Saturdays?"

Well, I thought it quite a peculiar question. Of course, I responded "On Saturdays, I watch the cricket, after which I hold a brief training session with the Kalimbuka VII" (It's really the Kalimbuka V unless you count Casper and Farley, the dogs, who often go after the ball when it goes down to third man, their speciality fielding position (i.e. their baskets)).

Ah, the chappy continued - "But what do you do if there's no cricket on the television?"

Well, I was dumfounded, and rather lost for words, because I have no idea what I do on Saturdays if there's no cricket on the television. It very much got me thinking. What on earth DO I do on Saturdays when there is no cricket.

Last Saturday, due to the trouncing England gave the Windies on Friday, there was no cricket on the television, unless you count the IPL game, which I decided not to watch in order that I could find out what I did on Saturdays when there's no cricket.

Here was my day's itinerary:

Got up, shaved and showered, with Mrs M enjoyed Doviko's breakfast of scrambled eggs (our own eggs - the hens have started to lay again). Checked The Daily Times. Read through The Daily Telegraph county cricket scores. Checked cricinfo for forthcoming games.

Walked round the house. Discussed plans for the garden with Wilson. Had a cuppa rooibos. Emptied bowels.

Made out Doviko's shopping list and discussed the forthcoming week's meal plan. Discussed Doviko's loan situation (not too bad). Confirmed Doviko's schedule for the coming two weeks and set him some further performance targets.

Walked round the garden again, and spoke to Abdul about the security incident the other night (turns out it was only the DuPre couple having an argument along the road).

Had lunch and dozed off. Woke up, paid Doviko, Wilson and Abdul their wages.

Had a quick look through Wisden to verify that Brian Close scored 52 centuries (this had been troubling me the previous evening).

With Mrs M, enjoyed Doviko's diner of chambo and chips with a slice of lemon. Let Doviko off without having to do the washing up. Poured an MGT. Lost track of time. Read a book about tea.

And so - I have discovered what I do on Saturdays when there is no cricket on the television. What I spend most of my time doing on Saturdays is spend time thinking up things for the servants to do. It's quite draining, actually. I was tired out by 9pm.

What do YOU do on Saturdays? I invite you to tell me, in comments to this post.

MM III