Breaking news - The Blissheids have taken over Edinburgh

I say!

Disturbing news from Edinburgh. Brian Wilson sent me the snaps below, and the following report, which I repeat verbatim.

"Dear Mingers,

Things are getting very rough here in Edinburgh now that the Blissheids seem to be taking over. Firstly, they made it law that you are not allowed to smoke in bars. Then they banned cigarette machines. Then they followed Bhutan's example and banned nicotine altogether. Then they upped the legal age to buy drink to 21, and then to 30! There are plans to raise the age to 40 in a couple of months. Now, if you don't meditate for at least four hours every day you can be sent to prison, or worse! I took the attached photographs of a poor lad who was being publicly pilloried for only meditating for two hours. The crowd was nasty, and kept shouting "Flatheid! Flatheid" There was a lot of noise, and I had to make my excuses and leave quite quickly."

BW



Well, I say, whatever next?

MM III

Emergency Pitch Inspectors Meeting

I say!

Given the news about the Allen Stanford scandal, I would just like to correct a couple of minor typos that I had not previously noticed in this post I wrote some time ago.

"Allen is a wonderful lad from Texas. I enjoyed a brief Wadadli in his company down at Third Man, some time back."

Should of course have read:

"Allen is a lad from Texas about whom I have serious doubts. I enjoyed a brief Wadadli in the same cricket ground that he was in along with 10,000 other spectators, some time back."

After the disaster at the Sir Vivian Richards Stadium, where, for the Second Test between the Windies and England, they prepared an outfield using far too much sand which made the surface unplayable, and resulted in the match being abandoned, an emergency pitch inspectors meeting was called earlier this week in York, which I attended at short notice. My goodness - it seems as if I spend as much time in dear old Blighty nowadays as Kalimbuka.

However it was great to be back in Yorkshire, and of course there was much serious business to get through. As a result, the drinks reception (shown below) was curtailed after only two hours and three evictions for excessive drunkenness and rowdiness (something of a record).


After all the drinking on empty stomachs, it was time for the food (shown below).


What a delightful dining room they have at the Royal York.


Anyway, as you can imagine, the meeting was very hard work.

I must report that for my own suggestion to rectify the situation in Antigua, I was awarded a small token of appreciation (shown below). That same suggestion was incorporated fully into the Recommendations which were published immediately after the meeting.


The Recommendations are quite brief, and are repeated below.

"We, the Pitch Inspectors Standing Sub-committee (Official Facilitators), advise the groundsmen at the Sir Vivian Richards Stadium, to use less sand."

I'm sure that that should help a lot, and everyone at the meeting agreed that it had been a very worthwhile exercise.

MM III

Lovely meal

I say!

What a to-do they've been having in Antigua. The match was abandoned due to the state of the pitch. Well, what can I say? I did warn them about the use of too much sand when I did my pitch inspection in Antigua.

Maybe they will change the venue to The Rec, where I took the snap in this post.

Anyway, to change the subject a little, what a nice meal I had the other month, during a break from the Pitch Advisors' Convention's relentless round of receptions and wine parties.

I did my best to work through the cellar of the Rossodisera Restaurant in London, shown below, but it was rather a losing battle.


Lovely authentic Italian food. Below is the delightfully attentive waiter who served us. He cheered up somewhat after he saw the size of the tip.


This was my room at the Strand Palace Hotel during my stay.




MM III

A hangover is the wrath of grapes

I say!

Rather thick in the head, this morning.

Nice to see that Henry Morton is doing well. He's the bass player in the band below.



The Aussies are always doing strange things. For example, look at this name. And also, this one. For this one, I'm afraid to ask Doviko what he thinks.

One also has to ask, given recent results, whether Australia are capable of ever winning another cricket match. I had a lot of fun with that premise, with Brandon, in the Government Hostile, the other evening. But it is a real concern that the Aussie cricket team may not be able to give England much competition in the forthcoming Ashes series, which I will be attending. Which reminds me, I must book my flight to dear old Blighty.

MM III