Obstruction de jambe

I say!

Exciting news over at Duneditin 2009.

Well I never. I've just heard that I've been retained to be the official Chief Pitch Adviser at the France v England cricket match, to be played at the Lille Metropole stadium in the summer of 2012.

Regular followers of the great game will remember that it has been some time since France played England - in fact, the last game happened in 1900 (England were the winners by 158 runs), when cricket was an Olympic sport (and let us all hope that it will some day return to the Olympics). Prior to that, there were a few games played in France, but in 1789 an important scheduled match between the MCC and a Louis XVI XI was delayed, not due to rain, but due to revolution. I say - the sans culottes could have planned things a bit better, don't you think?

The current France team is lead by that well-known frenchman Waseem Bhatti, whose vice-captain is Arun Ayyavooraju. With a name like that, obviously a Parisian.

I'm sure that it won't be long before the sound of leather on willow will be heard all over France.


In some quarters, so I understand, it is claimed that Frenchie invented the great game. And that the very name cricket originated from the word criquet, which means stile or wooden gate. Sacre bleu! That cannot be correct. Have I not already shown that cricket was popular amongst the Ancient Romans, and almost certainly even a long time before that, when it was popular amongst the neolithic Orkadians? A theory I hope to prove sometime in the not too distant future is that the game was played on a regular basis by the Ancient Egyptians, and that the pyramids are, in fact, part of a fielding plan (showing the slips), which the Egyptians built in order to be viewed from space by passing Martians, in the hope that they had brought their bats with them.

Also, JC recently sent me evidence from Palymra showing how popular the game was there in ancient times. I will post this shortly.

But I digress. I am very much looking forwards to advising on what I promise will be a sporting wicket for the Lille game.

MM III

Quick ones

I say!

Whilst we're waiting for some exciting breaking news about Duneditin 2009, four quick quiz questions for you. Answers in a Comment, please. A big prize is at stake!

1. Who released "Um Um Um Um Um Um" ?

2. Who released "Um, Um, Um, Um, Um, Um" ?

2. I took the snap below about a year ago when I was in London. Can you put a name to the statue?

4. Who wrote "If there is another world, he lives in bliss. If there is none, he made the best of this."

MM III

Duneditin 2009 and other wonderful news

I say!

The cricket season has at last started in dear old Blighty.

Other events of interest include the formal announcement of the Duneditin 2009 call for papers.

How wonderful!

MM III

Spud's brother Jimbo, and latest on mystery man Carslemane

I say!

Brian Wilson sent me the following snap. It's one of Spud's brother Jimbo. Regular readers of this blog may remember that I met up with him last year, when I visited Dear Old Blighty to attend Duneditin 2008.


Jimbo pitched up on Brian's doorstep once again, a couple of weeks ago. My goodness - he gets around. In the snap above he looks rather shell-shocked and perplexed, but that was probably after Brian had played him three hours non-stop vary rare Beach Boys music.

Anyway, Brian emailed me to say that Jimbo told him he had a theory about Carslemane. His theory is this:

To recap - Jimbo's friends Caro and Jacko had last left Carslemane, at his request, by the roadside in the outback, and in their own words, he was "Going strong towards the Top End".

Jimbo's theory is that shortly afterwards, Carslemane was mugged and drugged, and essentially left for dead, in a hole in the outback. After about 70 days of living off little more than frogs and cockroaches, and having lost a great deal of weight, someone called Ricky Megee eventually found him at an almost dried up waterhole/dam, somewhere near Wallamunga Tank.

Here's the interesting thing - Megee then wrote a book about the whole story, which has since been published under the title "Left for dead in the Outback", but in the book he substituted himself for Carslemane, in order to protect the innocent.

Here's a photo taken from that book:


My goodness - it's a bit hard to tell with all that weight loss, but I could swear that that is Carslemane!

Interesting theory, especially as there was a lot of talk about a 'mystery man' being found in the desert (you'll have to scroll down that page a bit to read the correct item), and mystery man is certainly an apt description of Carslemane.

MM III

Tweeting the match

I say!

Under a completely false name and persona (in order to protect the innocent and for hush-hush security reasons), I tweeted last night's match from St Lucia (West Indies v England in a one-dayer).

The following show the tweets, which, for anyone not conversant with either Twitter or cricket, will be completely and utterly incomprehensible, and will also appear as a very peculiar use of words. However, those who tweet and follow the great game will recognise it as an entirely accurate and totally comprehensible commentary.

# St Lucia. They should give Freddy Flintoff a fine leg, and Harmy a short leg. Then hope for some late or reverse swing. about 11 hours ago from web


# St Lucia. Bring mid off up, send mid on back, put in a slip, have a sweeper, hit the deck hard and send down a couple of short ones. about 11 hours ago from web


# St Lucia. Four balls, four singles, fifth ball six, sixth ball four. Ninety six for four. Ten to go. Seventy seven needed, or six wickets. about 10 hours ago from web


# St Lucia. Appeal! Looked close. Maybe slipping down leg. Would have clipped bail. about 10 hours ago from web


# St Lucia. Required rate 9.0 off 7. Final power play. Time for some full deliveries and yorkers from Anderson. about 10 hours ago from web


# St Lucia. Ball finally swinging. Freddy looking for reverse. Bravo cleared the field, which was set deep. It went all the way. Vital over. about 10 hours ago from web


# St Lucia. Five saving one. Six from the first three. Sweeper is up. Last ball 89 miles an hour. Slower ball went in the air and he's gone. about 10 hours ago from web


# St Lucia. Bravo gone - 33 from 46. Ramdin in. Wristy player. Harmy back on. Pollard caught. Two in two! about 10 hours ago from web


# St Lucia. Last two WI danger men gone. Can Sammy see them across the line? England need four more. about 10 hours ago from web


# St Lucia. The rate is rocketing. Now 10.44 and only 25 balls to go. Looks like it will go down to the wire. about 10 hours ago from web


# St Lucia. Crowd silenced. Swing and a miss. England were 134 for five at this stage. Broad got a hand on that one. Back of length. about 10 hours ago from web


# St Lucia. Put away, but man in the deep. Only a single. Straight drive for one. Keeper up. Rate now 13.6 and boundaries are needed. about 10 hours ago from web


# St Lucia. These two are new to the crease. No time for sighters. Freddy rarely goes round the park at this stage. about 10 hours ago from web


# St Lucia. Got him! Round his legs. Ramdin tried to get it down to fine leg, but missed it. about 10 hours ago from web


# St Lucia. Third man finer. Full and round about leg and middle. He's got him! Given LB. 140 for 8. Freddy on a hat trick. Got it! about 10 hours ago from web

# St Lucia. They tried to pinch a single, but it was a dead ball. 28 needed from 7. Singles not good enough. He's gone! That's it! England celebrate. about 10 hours ago from web

MM III

Pictures from Australia

I say!

In anticipation of the forthcoming Ashes series, I think it's time for a little light Aussie bating.

A Bondi Beach sign.


Australians fill up on this.


Common answer to maths exam question by Aussie kids.


Bondi Beach bikini


What Ricky Ponting will need this summer:

A fairly common Aussie roadsign.


The educashun level achieved by some Aussie roadsign makers has it's consequences:

Popular Aussie holiday destination:


An Aussie cricket fan, excited to be on his way to the match.

Where Ricky Ponting's men may end up:


How Aussie cricketers create a romantic atmosphere.

MM III